tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-24300131418499589762024-03-05T18:28:40.129-06:00Moms Want To Play TooRubihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17010973251960236615noreply@blogger.comBlogger14125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2430013141849958976.post-82258067072772245552015-08-07T23:31:00.000-05:002015-08-07T23:31:30.053-05:00My face is weird.(Note to self: Stop castigating yourself for letting this blog lie dormant for years at a time. Sometimes you wanna say stuff and this is a good place to put it. And that's all good.)<br />
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I've been working on something lately, and it's alternately really funny and really difficult.<br />
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See, I have this twofold problem: A <i>raging</i> case of resting bitchface and a major, physical inability to keep my emotions from showing on my face. (Several of you are laughing and nodding right now.)<br />
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The former has caused me some awkward situations. When I'm thinking hard, distracted/focusing on a number of things at once, or even just staring off and thinking of nothing in particular, I look so angry.
The perfect example of this happened a few years ago.<br />
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I was standing in line behind a woman at a fast food restaurant. I was thinking that she had the most beautiful hair that I'd ever seen and wondering if it would be weird to tell her that she had nice hair, when she turned around briefly and made eye contact for just a second, then turned around again.<br />
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After she got her food, she turned to me and snapped "When you look at people ugly it makes you ugly too" and stomped out before I could reply, leaving me stunned and embarrassed. I mean... I was standing there thinking complimentary things about her, and unknowingly half-glaring at her. Oops.<br />
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So I try to keep a pleasant look on my face and wind up feeling like </div>
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The other thing is a lot harder: this huge inability to hide my emotions. On one hand it's fun, because when I'm excited or happy I light up like a Christmas tree and can't help but project my enjoyment. That part is all good. I love sharing that part of myself The more, the merrier.</div>
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But on the other hand, UGH. That works both ways--so anger and sadness do the same thing. I joke that telling me to hide it is like telling other people "Hey, make the blood in your veins run in the opposite direction." </div>
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My face does ... I don't know. A thing. Nobody can adequately describe it to me, but everyone who knows me well agrees that there is definitely A Recognizable Thing. Not like sprouting horns, but some sort of expression. And when I'm at my angriest I literally turn colors. I get all red and blotchy from the collarbone up. I think it's the pale skin. It's super attractive, lemme tell you. </div>
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A while back there was an incident that had angered me--a lot--in a place where there were a lot of people. I wanted to take a little while alone to calm down, so I composed my face <i>I thought</i> and went to retrieve my bag near where a friend was sitting. She barely glanced up as I walked in, and immediately did a double take with huge eyes, dropped what she was doing, got up, and followed me out of the room. "WHAT HAPPENED". </div>
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Seriously, you guys. I'm BAD at this. Take whatever the opposite of a poker face is, double it, and there's me. I'm working on it. </div>
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If you think you've seen what I look like mad, you probably haven't. Those of you who have seen it are very aware, and yes I am laughing as I type this. I can at least laugh at this damnable trait--at least when I'm not in the throes of it. </div>
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Hey face. Behave yo'self. I know you can do it!</div>
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Rubihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17010973251960236615noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2430013141849958976.post-73663569381933931152010-08-19T10:57:00.003-05:002010-08-19T11:21:16.686-05:00In which I invite flames upon flames.We recently revisited an old argument in my Guild Wars alliance: the subject of language. It was angering and tiring to me, because it was the second pages-long thread we've had in the officer forums that centers around the use of the word rape.<br /><br />I really, truly do not get those who just casually toss that around. "lolololol we raped them lololol" Then someone complains and they're completely offended. Lighten up! We're all adults here! You know what I meant! It doesn't mean anything, and you know it.<br /><br />Yes, we are all adults here, which means I expect you to be able to express yourself a little better than that. And yes, it DOES mean something. I am lucky -- I'm not a rape victim, and I've never even been in a situation where I felt threatened. But even the thought of it is enough to make me flinch, and it is really beyond me why *anyone* would find that appropriate to joke about.<br /><br />Think about it. No, seriously. Take a second to think about the actual act -- someone being violated in that way and not being able to do a thing about it, no matter how hard they try. I don't care if it's never happened to you and you don't know anyone who has been a victim. The concept alone should bother you. <br /><br />If you've ever used the word in that concept, I really, sincerely want to hear from you, because it seems like basic human compassion to avoid using that in a joking tone, for two reasons. One, it's simply not funny -- it's a completely unacceptable form of slang. Two, it's entirely likely that you will say that in guild chat, alliance chat, local chat, a forum, whatever, and it will be read by a rape victim. That person went through one of the most horrifying things you can go through, and now they're sitting there watching you mock the experience and turn it into a joke. Sure, you can make the standard excuses: that's his/her problem, not mine. Don't read it if you don't like it, blah blah blah. <br /><br />Or you could, you know, show (again) basic human compassion and just find a better way to express yourself. Because it's not funny, and it should never ever ever ever be used in that context. <br /><br />While I'm at it, the same goes for calling something "gay." I'm sorry, did you seriously just take someone's sexual orientation and turn it into a slur? NICE. I don't care whether you agree with it or not, using the word gay as a derogatory term for something you don't like just makes you look like a tool in dire need of a thesaurus. (If you still don't get where I'm coming from, substitute the phrase "sexual orientation" with "skin color," "nationality," or "religious affiliation." Still wanna tell me to lighten up and that it doesn't mean anything?)<br /><br />Stop being cretins, people.Rubihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17010973251960236615noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2430013141849958976.post-48540858390240252532010-08-17T08:18:00.006-05:002010-08-19T10:53:15.058-05:00Free to play. It's not out to ruin your life.There's been a lot of talk at Massively, both behind the scenes and out front, about the free-to-play business model. I've avoided weighing in until now because I just couldn't decide. Which makes me late to the discussion, but I'm okay with that. ;-)<br /><br />I'm so torn on this, because on one hand the bickering over semantics annoys me to no end, as does the fact that so many people are just outraged that for-profit companies are out to make a buck. Hi, of course they want your money. That's sort of why they exist. It doesn't make them evil, it makes them like every other business in the world.<br /><br />The constant back and forth is what interests me. Too many players take "free-to-play" at face value, which is fair to a point. They expect to be able to play for free. But you've got to use common sense. No business is going to fork over the whole store at no charge just because the devs think you look like a nice guy. They still aim to make a profit, so it's sort of a "You can play for free. And you can play even MORE for a few bucks." <br /><br />The other part of this is that these companies are constantly testing to see what the market will bear. Again, this is good old common sense. I know little to nothing about the inner workings of F2P games, but I imagine that no company can afford to stagnante and continue offering the same tired uber sword of buttkickery for $3 in the cash shop. Eventually every player will have one and you cash flow stops. You can't keep up that way.<br /><br />Better to keep trying new things and seeing how the market reacts. Different price points, different items, different incentives, different forms of earning income. You can send out surveys and study your customer base all you want, but sometimes putting it into practice is the only way to know for sure. Sometimes it works, sometimes it does not. Look at Allods. Look at the DDO Offer Wall. Those things... didn't work out so well. On the other hand, look at the infamous Sparklepony. A year ago, would you have considered $25 a reasonable price for a cash shop item? WoW gambled on what the market would bear, and it not only worked out well for them, it <a href="http://www.massively.com/2010/05/20/sony-online-entertainment-introduces-25-mount/">caught on elsewhere</a>.<br /><br />It's just the nature of the game -- these companies want to keep you spending. It's how they continue to exist. But the games are not unavailable if you don't want to spend, so I really fail to see why people are so insulted when they bump up against an in-game store, or when devs add new or different items and price points to the store to see what sticks.<br /><br />For what it's worth, I continue to think that Turbine has the most outstanding business model out there. I know there are people that don't like some of the F2P restrictions, but I view their a la carte options as pure genius. Want to pay a flat monthly sub and move on with your life? You can do that. Want to play free and maybe pick up a few items from the DDO/LotRO store now and then? You can do that too. Want to play without ever spending a penny? No problem. (And yes, you can do that. There are a hundred guides out there on playing completely free. <a href="http://www.massively.com/2010/03/25/exploring-eberron-can-you-really-play-free/">I wrote one</a>.)<br /><br />Anyway, I generally think the F2P business model is a good one. Bicker over semantics and call it whatever you want, but if I'm playing and I've not paid any money and I can do so as long as I like, then I am playing for free. Free. to. Play. The end.Rubihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17010973251960236615noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2430013141849958976.post-64098554958908699692010-08-06T08:09:00.005-05:002010-08-06T09:03:29.011-05:00Whee! Bring on the hectic!Wow, last night was kinda crazy and I loved every second of it.<br /><br />See, Thursday night is Massively night in Guild Wars. I get together with our readers and we play through Guild Wars together. We started with Prophecies in pre-searing and are working our way through. In the past few weeks we've thrown Eye of the North into the mix, proceeding through those storylines to add some interest.<br /><br />Last night was Bloodstone Fen and part of the Knowledgeable Asura storyline. After getting my kiddos to bed for the night, I headed to Bloodstone Fen early as usual to help everyone get settled in. Fielded a few guild invitation requests, chatted with guildies and alliance mates, and wrapped up a few work things. Besides the usual contingent of guildies, some alliance people joined, and an old friend from the original Guildcast alliance showed up. <br /><br />At the appointed time, we divided up into groups -- we've always got too many for a single group -- and off we went. And then all heck broke loose. One guy's mic wasn't working on Vent, and someone else was having volume issues that caused every person's voice to come booming out of her speakers. Then someone else had a minor medical issue that required her to afk and re-apply a bandage/brace. <br /><br />We stood around at the beginning of the mission for quite a while trying to get everything sorted. This is exactly the sort of thing that causes more impatient players to throw their hands up in annoyance and rely on heroes. But here's the thing: I revel in it. Sure, we weren't accomplishing the mission at top speed, but I was with five people that I *really* like. We were laughing, joking around, helping one another sort out technical glitches, and generally having time.<br /><br />Now. I haven't even gotten to the fun part yet. We finally got settled and started the mission in earnest. We got about a third of the way through when I got an IM from my husband, who'd been web browsing during some downtime at work. There was a new ArenaNet blog post about Guild Wars 2. <br /><br />Now here's the thing about Guild Wars 2 news: It's...well, it's Guild Wars 2 news. I jump on it and write it up immediately, and it usually gets published asap. Other stuff, particularly gaming, has to take a back seat. Now I want to be very clear that this is not a complaint. Not a day goes by that I don't smile at *some* point because of what I do for a living. I'm the lead Guild Wars/Guild Wars 2 writer for our site. I *get paid* to write about this game that introduced me to MMOs. I *get paid* to do something that I am incredibly passionate about and that I'd do for free.<br /><br />So when this sort of thing happens, I have this crazy combination of "/shriek New info, new info!!!" and "OMG MUST WRITE NOW." My fangirl self and my work self are both hopped up on adrenaline and excitement and my biggest problem is trying to stay under a certain word count.<br /><br />What's funny is that the very same thing happened last Thursday night. New GW2 info surfaced just as our Massively GW mission was well underway. I told my group what was happening, and they sent me off to a safe place to leech while I wrote. They were so kind about it.<br /><br />I felt too guilty to do that again this week, so I explained on Vent what had happened and that I needed just a moment to talk with Shawn and figure out how long the story was going to be. Once I got that settled, we finished the mission in record time and everyone shooed me off to get to work.<br /><br />I am so, so, so fortunate to have gameplay friends who "get it." Things like this interrupt their gameplay, and in their shoes I might be a bit impatient. They are saints about it. Partly because they are great people, but partly because this sort of thing is incredibly exciting for them too and they completely get why I'm so preoccupied and anxious to get to work.<br /><br />My gamer friends are the best. <3 And keep the hectic coming, everyone involved. I love it so much!Rubihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17010973251960236615noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2430013141849958976.post-62051589272259736712010-08-05T10:31:00.003-05:002010-08-05T10:44:30.741-05:00Convention season -- it's a storm of OMGOMGOMG for meI am really sad that I won't be at gamescom for the first hands-on with Guild Wars 2, but honestly, I find it hard to stay disappointed for long. Gen Con is this weekend, and then PAX.<br /><br />Oh my gosh, PAX. This is an event I've wanted to attend for several years, but never had the opportunity. (That sentence was so mangled. If Bree ever sees that, she'll kill me in my sleep.) And in 29 days, I will be in Seattle, WA, attending PAX Prime. 28 days, actually, since I plan to arrive a day early.<br /><br />It's ridiculous how excited I am about this. Every time I think about it I break into this huge grin and get a few little butterflies in my stomach. I am going to PAX. I have an appointment with the GW2 crew already, and my little fangirl heart can barely stand that fact.<br /><br />Shawn told me I'd probably need to look at Aion 2.0 as well, to which I replied "As long as they show me that pet that poops out loot, I'm totally cool with that. I've never seen anything literally crap a weapon before." Aion's been tugging at the edge of my attention anyway, and I may give it a try after PAX. Just need to find space in the budget for a sub game.<br /><br />But for now, in two days I'll be in Indianapolis for Gen Con with my Kev, and Shawn and Justin from Massively. That's going to be such fun. Matt Forbeck is there, and Felicia Day. I'm hoping for photos with both. Shawn and I interviewed Jeff Grubb a while back, and I'd love the chance to say thanks to the other half of that team for such a great book.<br /><br />Once I return from Gen Con, I'll resume my countdown to PAX. Lots of prep work to be done: making appointments, confirming reservations, and making sure everything's in place for a Massively fan meetup. (The lovely and talented Seraphina is setting that up.) Every step of the preparation process is just insanely exciting for me, and I hope I can convey that excitement to Massively's readers that week. <br /><br />(28 days. OMG.)Rubihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17010973251960236615noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2430013141849958976.post-67991000598925552642010-08-04T06:51:00.005-05:002010-08-04T08:45:23.814-05:00I should be fired. We should all be fired.The downside of what I do is that someone will always be ready and willing to tell you exactly where they think you've gone wrong.<br /><br />Sometimes they're correct. Maybe you've made a typo, or missed a fact, or God forbid, presented old news as new. In which case, you fix it, learn your lesson, and just accept that much of the wailing and gnashing of teeth over your mistake is going to be wildly out of proportion to the actual error.<br /><br />I saw an excellent example of this the other day. Some sort of weird glitch -- possibly on Facebook's end, who knows -- caused information about the Guild Wars Wintersday in July event to be posted on the official Guild Wars Facebook page. The event itself was back in mid-July, so it was well over and done with. The text of the announcement contained the correct date (July 16th), but the Facebook posting had the current date, August second or something.<br /><br />The commenters went insane. There were numerous all-caps comments stating simply "EPIC FAIL." One person said "The person who posted this should be fired." (Really? You think a person should lose his livelihood, his health benefits, the way he supports his family and keeps food in his fridge, over a Facebook error? Really?) People went on and on about what a travesty this was.<br /><br />It's weird. It was the internet equivalent to... I don't even know. The cashier at Macy's forgetting to add one of the items you purchased to your bag. You see it still sitting there, you remind her, she fixes the error, and everyone moves on. Nobody is rallying his friends, standing outside Macy's, screaming EPIC FAIL at the top of his lungs and calling for the cashier to be fired.<br /><br />Things online are amplified so much. You will be tarred and feathered for every typo. You can write 1,500 words, and if one of those words is out of place it will become the focus of the entire piece for the majority of the readers.<br /><br />So why even bother? Why not turn off your computer, walk away from these lunatics, and go work at Macy's instead?<br /><br />Because there's an upside too. For every person who is demanding that you be fired and put in stocks, there are two who love what you do and want to tell you that. Unfortunately, just like those people I was talking about earlier, we have a tendency to focus on the negative. It's just human nature. Ten great comments should be more than adequate to bolster your ego after three or four negative ones, but it never seems to work that way.<br /><br />Growing a thick skin and learning to deal with jerks is probably the hardest part of this job. I guess any job where you deal with the internet masses. These days I'm shutting down and walking away more often, to go hang out with the RL people, the ones who really matter. They're the ones keeping me sane. But I still work hard and often, and at the end of the day, I still have the best job in the world.<br /><br />(Note to self. Read that last paragraph 2-3 times a day as needed.)Rubihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17010973251960236615noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2430013141849958976.post-30849444477337904612010-07-29T13:01:00.003-05:002010-08-01T20:31:55.879-05:00RevivalI need to revive this poor old blog. It's been an amazing year and this thing fell by the wayside.<br /><br />On September 17th, 2009, I was offered what is seriously the best job I've ever had in my life. <a href="http://www.massively.com/bloggers/rubi-bayer">I am a contributing editor for Massively.com</a>, and even after nearly a year I find myself amazed that I actually do this for a living.<br /><br />I play MMOs for fun and relaxation, and suddenly I write about them for pay. It's mind-boggling.<br /><br />Most days I'm confident that I'm good at what I do. I've still got miles of room for improvement, but I think I started out well, and I've learned so much from my incredible editors. I should probably thank them more -- they seem to only hear from me in a professional capacity when there is a complaint. Note to self, do something about that.<br /><br />Actually, that segues nicely into what's been on my mind this weekend. People seem to have an endless capacity for negativity, and I wonder if it will ever stop taking me by surprise. There is always someone who is just dying to tell you all about why "x" game sucks, what you did wrong, how another gamer or commenter sucks, just anything negative. They love it so much, and every now and again the flood of negativity just knocks me flat.<br /><br />It's another facet of that tendency: we focus on the negative and blow off the positive. I could get 50 people saying how much they love my work, and five telling me in great detail exactly how and why I am a disgrace to my profession. Guess what I'll focus on. My current project is to break myself of that habit.<br /><br />If I figure out the secret, do you suppose I could bottle it and sell it?Rubihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17010973251960236615noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2430013141849958976.post-12816335070310678632009-08-27T11:03:00.002-05:002009-08-27T11:42:40.215-05:00So much yay right now!Well, after a crazy busy summer, the kids are back in school, the remodeling is (somewhat) done, and I'm getting back into a routine. (Don't worry, this isn't turning into a non-gaming blog, I promise). It feels great to be settled in again, as much as a mom ever gets settled in. My evenings still seem to be crazy, but I'm used to that. I really enjoy my mornings and daytimes. Once the flurry of getting kids fed and off to school is over, my days fall into a regular routine, and I love that so much. (See? Yay!)<br /><br />Of course, that routine includes indulging in some uninterrupted gaming time. Love it. Earlier this week I took a break to hang out with Shawn again on <a href="http://www.massively.com/2009/08/26/massively-speaking-episode-66-gushing-on-guild-wars-2">Massively Speaking</a>, where I got to squee my little fangirl heart out about <a href="http://www.guildwars2.com/en/">Guild Wars 2</a>. I've come down from my initial omgomgomgomgGW2 excitement, but I'm still just loving every piece of information they have given us. <a href="http://twitter.com/guildwars2/status/3402579422">Noon in Cologne</a> is 5 AM for me, and I was out of bed at 4:50, watching the live feed, and logged into Skype with an Austrian friend who had kindly agreed to translate for me. The fan excitement was so much fun to watch, I loved it. And hey? If someone could just hook me up with one of those tshirts? That'd be great, thanks. I loved those, and wanted to be in that crowd really badly.<br /><br />While you're at it, someone needs to have a telethon or something, and sponsor my trip to <a href="http://www.massively.com/2009/08/26/ncsoft-announces-its-pax-plans">PAX</a>. I want NCSoft swag!! I'd love to win that art book - given what we've seen so far, you just know it's going to be stunning. I was glad to hear it would be for sale at a later date. If you're heading to PAX, a recap would be more than welcome.<br /><br />Lunchtime looms, but more squeeing is on the way.Rubihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17010973251960236615noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2430013141849958976.post-36125108783421172442009-07-27T06:44:00.003-05:002009-07-27T07:26:48.571-05:00Grind? Yes please!I spent nearly an hour yesterday morning playing Guild Wars with my son. He's been playing for less than a month, and is still running around pre-searing at level 8, so it's all very new to him.<br /><br />I keep a pre character on my main account for <a href="http://guildwars.wikia.com/wiki/Nicholas_Sandford">Nicholas Sandford</a>, since the party points he gives out help my <a href="http://guildwars.wikia.com/wiki/Party_Animal">title hunt</a>. But every time I head over there, I seem to burn out after five minutes. Kill a level one monster in under two seconds. Hope it drops whatever Nicholas is asking for. Kill another one. Rinse, repeat, snooze. I get so bored I just can't do it anymore.<br /><br />Playing with my son made it a completely different experience. It's all still a challenge to him. He's been asking me over and over and over to go kill some Charr, mom! Bad mommy moment here - I put him off for quite a while because I couldn't bear the thought of staying in pre for more than ten minutes. Finally, the other day, I decided to suck it up, and finally play with the poor kid.<br /><br />We crossed the wall with my level 9 elementalist and his level 8 ranger and went to find the Charr. And I was so surprised to find myself having a blast. We killed, and were killed (a lot) for almost an hour until we'd killed off nearly everything in the zone. There was a lot of yelling "Ahhhh! runrunrunrunrun! Aaghh, I'm dead!", and laughing like crazy. My son reached level 9 in the middle of it all and was delighted. <br /><br />He is off to day camp today, but before he left he said "Mom, can we kill more Charr when I get home tonight?" I can't wait.<br /><br />Sometimes looking at the old stuff through new eyes leads to the most fun you can have.Rubihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17010973251960236615noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2430013141849958976.post-40199282284567045922009-07-22T08:44:00.002-05:002009-07-22T09:04:06.261-05:00Wow, I stink!My poor blog. She has suffered from a combination of my super busy schedule (the kids are home from school for the summer and we're still mired in remodeling hell), and my suffering from a fit of "Oh shush, nobody wants to hear what you have to say!"<br /><br />I do have a lot to say, though, so I'm going to make the effort to sit down every morning and bang out some of my thoughts. It's fun and relaxing when I force myself to stop, breathe, and write for a bit.<br /><br />We're currently working on putting our house back together after remodeling the kids rooms, and doing the decorating in their bedrooms. Mine and Kev's room has turned into a landfill of sorts for everything that has been displaced in the rest of the house. Every time I dig something out of the pile, or install a new item in a bedroom or closet, I feel like I should get some kind of scavenging or crafting points. I'm getting better at it, I suppose that's what that is. I'm levelling up!<br /><br />Right, gaming. My Guild Wars guild is turning four, and I organized a celebration beginning July 14th and wrapping up on August 1st with an in game party. I've had a ton of fun posting games in the forum and planning in game events, and as always, watching the reaction and behavior of people during this time fascinates me.<br /><br />It's been a chance for people to show off their best sides - people flocked to donate in game items, and not just their junk. Nice things that I am excited to give away, and so many things that I had to create a gift mule to handle it all. My guild leader and another officer came up with some wonderful (and not cheap - I was amazed at their generosity) real world prizes to hand out, including a pretty pricey headset that I am dying to win. People have stepped in to help me out when real life keeps me too busy to keep up with some games most days. Seeing how generous people can be with their time and their money - both real and virtual - makes me smile.<br /><br />There is the other side too - those people who set out to denigrate it for some reason. In a way, it makes me smile because it's a tiny fraction of the amount of good that I've seen. I had an incident the other day where someone got my character name from the forums, not hard to do at all. This person was a stranger to me, but came after me in game, whispering for almost two hours that I was a "fagget" (at least he gave me a chuckle with the spelling, and the assumption that I was a male.) and various other forms of verbal abuse. That type of person is a large part of the gaming community, and I notice that it's much more prevalant in the summer when school is out. I tend to take the negativity with a grain of salt because it speaks more to what kind of a person they are, than what kind of person I am.<br /><br />I also tend to assume that these people are young, and mom/dad isn't keeping a close enough eye on what is happening on their child's computer. They have too much keyboard courage and too little supervision. It serves a bit to keep me vigilant on what's going on with my own kids.<br /><br />Hm, parental supervision on teh interwebz. More to ponder on tomorrow morning. For now, it's time to do some of the work that I'm getting paid for. Off I go!Rubihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17010973251960236615noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2430013141849958976.post-37512794932384521032009-06-28T06:28:00.002-05:002009-06-28T08:02:38.136-05:00Wow.A couple of remodeling projects have been kicking my butt lately, sorry for the lack of updates. It's beginning to settle down a bit around here. There is still a LOT to do, but the big push is done for now.<br /><br />I've been thinking about this internet addiction thing quite a bit while working, though. I just don't think there is any way or reason to sugar coat it - whether it is officially recognized or named at this point, it's a real thing. Just like any tool or good thing, it's easy to abuse.<br /><br />I really do think it's a bit different than the kind of addiction that we've grown up knowing about. If someone is addicted to drugs or alcohol, the commonly accepted solution is to stop, and never start down that path again. You can not have another drop of alcohol again, ever.<br /><br />That's not really practical in this case, though. Sure, you can unplug from the internet completely, but I've never been a fan of throwing the baby out with the bath water. A better solution in my eyes here is a strong self discipline. I've taken to deciding what I want to do before I sit down, and making note of what needs to be done around the house. I make sure both of those things get done. If I just want some random playtime, I'll play for a short bit, then get up and do things around the house in between game tasks. (Since logging on this morning, I've done a couple loads of laundry, served breakfast, done some things with the kids, and cleaned the kitchen.) There are also a million <a href="http://timesupkidz.com">tools</a> out there, free and otherwise, to give you a hand. Look into them!Rubihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17010973251960236615noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2430013141849958976.post-12751093186046673092009-06-12T07:28:00.003-05:002009-06-12T08:58:45.885-05:00Is internet addiction even a thing?I read a <a href="http://www.cnn.com/2009/HEALTH/04/13/mothers.internet.addiction/index.html">recent article</a> on CNN.com discussing how moms are more at risk for internet addiction. It really fascinated me, and I talked about it with another gamer mommy. Her response? "Pfft, yeah, I'm definitely addicted."<br /><br />[shrug] Hey, she said it first, but I'll hop on her bandwagon and say "me too." Internet outage? Grrr!! Fix it, and fix it NOW. I need to check my email, and look at the weather, and play MMOs, and talk to my friends, and read articles on CNN.com that tell me I'm on the internet too much! (Is it weird to anyone but me that an article like that is on...the internet?) <br /><br />However, today I stumbled across <a href="http://psychcentral.com/blog/archives/2009/04/17/moms-internet-addiction/">this article</a> saying that internet addiction technically isn't even a real thing yet, and that heavy internet use is a normal part of life these days.<br /><br />I'm really wavering on this. I'm on the computer WAY too much. I make a conscious effort to limit my time, take care of my responsiblilites, and maintain my real life at a normal, healthy level. But the fact that I have to consciously make an effort to do this probably means that the addiction label applies to me. (Probably? As my friend said, "pfft".)<br /><br />On the other hand, the computer is my mp3 player, TV, and newspaper all rolled into one. My main hobby, gaming, lives in the computer. Many times it is also my "phone". I had a nice chat yesterday with a real life friend via Facebook. We probably *could* have had a phone conversation, but it would have been hard. She was helping her daughter pack for a trip and I was at work. Our phone conversation would have been interrupted constantly. Facebook chat? We got to hold our conversation just as well, back and forth to the computer in between dealing with our other responsibilities.<br /><br />When our conversation ended, I felt good. I'd gotten to touch base with my friend, and we spent a bit of time encouraging one another - real life is stressful for both of us this week. I felt a bit calmer and more relaxed after that, whereas a phone call would have left me a bit tense and wishing I'd had time to talk to her without constant "Hang on again. No, I said pack your GREEN shirt! Sorry, what were you saying?"<br /><br />In many ways, the internet is a tool well suited to the breakneck pace most moms (and most everybody) keep these days. But too much of a good thing and all that.<br /><br />How much is too much, and why do so many of us have such a hard time deciding that and calling a halt? Lots to talk about, and I'm anxious to explore this more over the next week or two. More to come...Rubihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17010973251960236615noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2430013141849958976.post-10728294592323012242009-06-04T10:27:00.006-05:002009-06-12T09:25:29.479-05:00Spike on 1. ZOMG nub I said spike on 1!!11! What are you, a little kid?The other day, I read a post from a parent whose children play Guild Wars. His youngest child, eight years old, has grown bored with PvE and has begun experimenting with PvP a bit. He and his wife were discussing, and unsure if they should allow him or not. Neither of them could join him in this venture, as they did not have access to some of the areas that their son had access to.<br />(To clarify if you are not familiar: PvE is Player vs. Environment. You fight against the game itself, and your opponents are a computer AI. PvP is Player vs. Player. It's pretty much what it sounds like - your opponents are other players.)<br /><br />I was happy to see that the discussion remained friendly and helpful, but the topic touched a nerve with me because this is a balancing act that Kev and I work to maintain every time our daughter logs into the game.<br /><br />I have to say first and foremost that I've always felt that mothers are hard enough on ourselves without making it worse by being hard on each other. Tearing one another down over the way we choose to parent is *never* good. It helps no one. At the risk of sounding preachy, we need to be extending our hands to pull one another up, not to point a judgemental finger. So I try hard not to judge other mothers for their choices. (That's not to say I never fall into that trap. I do my best. Sometimes I screw it up.)<br /><br />I think parenting decisions in game aren't really any different than parenting decisions anywhere else: Look at the facts of a situation, consider possible outcomes, think of how comfortable you feel with what your child will encounter, consider your child's personality (How will s/he deal with these possible scenarios?), discuss it with your child if s/he's old enough, and make the call. Of course, you should probably discuss all this with whoever else is responsible for raising the child, but I would hope that is a given.<br /><br />Kev and I are fairly conservative, and if anything, we lean toward the overprotective side. We feel that we *need* to know exactly what our three children are doing on the internet. What they are seeing, who they are talking to, what they are sharing with the world. Both computers are in our family room, visible to everyone, and we know what's going on with them. In the gaming world, we are equally as conservative. Only our daughter plays at the moment, but when our son begins playing, he'll have the same rules: all chats remain off: local, guild, alliance, and trade. No voice communication software. You play set to offline so people can not whisper you. You only form groups with mom and dad, no playing with others.<br /><br />As time has passed and she's grown older, we've adapted and modified some of those rules to reflect that. She is allowed to join groups sometimes, playing with people that Kev and I feel comfortable with her interacting with, as long as one of us is also in the group to keep an eye out. Our gaming friends know who she is and how old she is, and the ones we feel comfortable with have always been very respectful of that in her presence.<br /><br />PvP, in my eyes, is an arena that my kids won't be entering. The gaming community can be a bit...well, you know. If one of my children enters a PvP arena of any kind, within 60 seconds she will see something that I have no desire for her to see at this point in time. Within 90 seconds, she would see something that I have no desire for her to see, and it would be aimed at her. That is just how PvP works 95% of the time, particularly random PvP.<br /><br />The things that Kev and I are comfortable with, and our child's personality, do not mesh well with the possible outcomes of letting her join any kind of group of random strangers to play with. That is what works for us, and what is best for our child. But kids aren't math problems. You can't say "x element" + "y element" x "z element" will equal a happy, healthy, well adjusted child every time. The wonderful and difficult thing about kids is that each one is unique and no equation works just right for all of them. My solutions may not work for you, but it doesn't make you wrong, or a bad parent.<br /><br />Find your equation, work it out, have your kid equip her weapon, and have some fun.Rubihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17010973251960236615noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2430013141849958976.post-89933202130082258202009-06-02T13:33:00.006-05:002015-08-07T21:47:58.557-05:00Juggling Mom.I love GW2 for a living. I wife, mom, dance, game, garden, read. Those are all verbs. Wouldn't say no to a cocktail and a nap.Rubihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17010973251960236615noreply@blogger.com0